Coffee Grief

I have always reacted when I have heard health freaks praise the benefits of being caffeine free and dairy free, something just so squeaky clean about the whole idea. Life is for living after all I have always reasoned, surely a few innocent luxuries should not be denied. The thought of drinking herbal tea instead seemed so dreary, so boring, no excitement, what so ever. 

 I have often heard of really health conscious people getting chronic illnesses....I have always believed health is not just about the body, it is about the emotions, the spirit and it's dis-ease or ease. 
So last week when I got really ill with a stomach bug and could not tolerate coffee or dairy I had to re evaluate my past judgements. In fact I had to admit the last few months that coffee and dairy did seem to cause me some indigestion....I went to the doctor and she said  'well, considering your age, it it advisable we test for chronic diseases'  I was slightly horrified, what does she mean, my age? Okay I am about to turn 52, but I feel 25, isn't 52 the new 42? What's her problem?

Yet the body has been speaking to me and it is my choice whether I choose to listen or not. 

 There is a house I walk by in my lovely morning walks with my dog and  a sweet looking girl, maybe in her 40's, sits on the front step of her house having her morning cigarette and cuppa. She always says hello between coughs. I always think, 'her body is trying to tell her it doesn't like the smoke but she is not listening'. Having been a smoker in the past, I pass no judgement, I know how tobacco seduces.  But it is a fact, our bodies are often telling us messages but we don't want hear.  Then sometimes we are forced to hear, like with me this last week.  

The silver lining is that I found a huge difference in my clarity and state of calm.  I have heard others say how no dairy brings clarity and I know I feel less nervy from no coffee.  As we age, we know ourselves better, we know what works and what doesn't for us on so many levels. 

I have learned and been reminded again this week to listen to the whispers of my body and my intuition...the dairy I am not so sentimental about and I feel happy to let you go, but coffee, I grieve for you, I will always admire you and thank you for all the good times.
'

My lover every morning for so many years
Your scent on my lips, your warmth flowing through me
Your strength when I felt weak
Your comfort I embraced
When I was deflated you gave me courage to keep moving

and now, you are gone, my body rejected you
my nervous system too sensitive
but I will always remember you
as my morning lover

Here's to  tea, cacao and  red wine!